Beware.. self dissing in session

Its the end...

Mr Brown: Badd is such a pussy, seriously..
Badd: really, i think u are as shitty as the colour..

My self motivation just chose not to work today..
and everything just felt not in place and down the drain..
seriously, i think I'm such a loser..
a sore one that is..
cant even do things right..
in fact my life is just nuthing but filled with clashes..
this and that.. and everything..
wanna do a move but not daring enough..
cant help but to feel demoralized everytime..
tried to like someone but hadnt got the chance..
well, at least thats how i think it is..
sometimes, I'm just sick of giving in to ppl..
always think about others before self..
but at times i did tried thinking about myself first and found it a lil guilty..
such a pussy right? dumbass
sometimes, i dunno whether being smart is a good thing..
ppl might think ur too smart that ur a freak or sumthing.. or ppl think that ur smart but not smart enuff as the things that u say might ended up sounding dumb to sumone coz they are considered on the surface, but actually it requires some deep thinking..
Just when I thought I could make everyone feels happy..
there is still that hidden agenda, behind every questions asked, every smile, every 'it's ok', every 'nevermind', every 'nuthing'...

missing my old happy side..
when everything seems to be so carefree and matters are not put to heart..
it seems to be away on a looong holiday..
almost felt like giving up..
thinking that my ray of hope is fading away..
just fuck it luh..

wadever to me and this post aite..
bye