So, recent updates..
DnD on Friday was kool..
The ppl there all dresed up in different occupations, with myself dressed up as a policeman, and i think they had made a great job for being within the theme.. haha..
Saw other policemen, firemen, ballerinas, dancers, jabawockeez wannabe (lol!), astronaut, investigators, popes, contractors, mechanics, bangla worker wannabe (haha!), chef, surgeon, doctors, fashion designers, artists, hairdressers, equestrians, magicians, japanese wannabes, korean student wannabes.. and even extreme ones like SM, flasher(semi) and Super Mario! lol..
The mascots were great too.. and I think the one as a traffic policewoman is so kool! she looks so modelesque and so plainly dope.. not to forget the artist, she's awesome as well.. and also, Chelsea as the private agent.. so fierce sia.. haha..
The food was not bad too..
Anyways, had to leave halfway as we are performing for them..
And I think our performance was awesome.. lol.. although its a short one..
seriously, we are the Businessmen gone wild for the night.. haha!
Neways, thnks Andreas, Andy, Royston n Tim for the experience of training and performing with you guys man..
And good job to Raaz, Nicole, Ahlee, Jean, Ahfoong and Meiqi for their performance as well..
Pics will be at facebook most probly.. haha..

Saturday.. had fulldress training..
And my costumes are like kind of not helping.. but its a good thing I have this period of time to test it.. thinking of it, it was kinda funny though.. lol
After that, went to the Song&Song shop over at Tampines to look for more costumes.. It was so awesome coz the stuffs there are like factory rejects with extremely minor faults and are sold at a cheap rate of around 5 to 20 bucks... how awesome is that rite? but only some stuffs are dope luh.. and are dance-able that is..
So, managed to get a red hoodie, black sweatpants, and a white zip-on hoodie.. all at 15 bucks.. kool rite? lol..
After that, went back to school to help out with some of the props for our production..
And I think that our props are so dope.. seriously man.. its the awesome dopeshit!.. lol I can dare myself to say that this is the most awesomest props that I ever seen and helped out in any production from any other polys or even our own.. so kool!..
oo.. and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FION!
bimbotic classmate ever..
ur like 19 before me for like 14 days.. haha!
enjoy ur last teen year aite.. =]

ok so, recently.. was kinda feeling a lil emo.. A LIL ONLY..
I'm kinda not looking forward for attachment..
I'm seriously gonna miss alot of ppl.. like my classmates, Venos peeps, Nexo peeps..
and especially TPDE peeps.. coz I'm more closer to them than anyone..
gosh.. I'm gonna miss everyones' habits..
like Raazmy's funny imitations.. Royston's dumb interpersonation of ppl around him and how he always likes to bully Tim.. Andy's stiffness which can be felt although we are a distance apart in studio (haha) and also his help on stuffs.. Tim's dumb stories, scream and laughter.. Andreas' reaction when he was disturbed by Royston.. the S&K couple.. Iris' blur moments.. Frankie's Hong Kong accent.. Joycelyn's kind acts and her pronounciation errors when she say some words wrongly with confidence.. lol.. Joey's bouncy hair and her shortness.. Meichin's air freeze with my pinkie (haha).. Kat's invert trials and her bimbo moments, Steph's, Kevin's and Estee's laughter.. Jean's own pronounciation of words like 'roll' and 'yellow'.. Nicole's and Ahlee's sisterly and funny acts.. Harris' irritating habits, his chi-mat way of doing stuffs and his concern.. RB's laughter with his blushed tomato face, and his every possible way of being kool (lol..) and also his concern.. Hazruls' 'Wad the fuck' and his guidance for breaking, Suria's smallness.. Aty's and Tivona's irritating voices when they say 'da shu badd' (lol!).. and the list can go on and on and on.. coz each and everyone's traits will not be easily forgotten by me..
But most importantly, is that their care and concern for each and everyone in the club is just so strong that the bond is almost difficult to break.. Thats wad makes me miss them..
And now that concert is around the corner, I'm sure gonna miss the training and bonding times we had as after the concert, it is sure gonna be so darn awkward and strange to find that theres no training every single day.. So, I'm gonna spend this last few days of training fruitfully with these ppl..

Who cares if someone is badmouthing our club.. i mean, its obvious that that certain sumone is lacking of these TLC in the first place to be talking shit about us.. talking about remembering the roots..
seriously.. how dare you
It is just so disappointing to see someone u looked up to being so caught up with Pride, Ego and Power..
guess wad, u only looked like someone i know..

So today.. kinda leaving the whole day at home to prepare for tmr's external paper before going off for usual concert training..

Till then.

Training today was kool..
Had vetting and finally understood the whole rundown of our concert/musical..
One more week and jy to everyone aite..
We can do it, and I know its gonna be a blast!..

Neways, theres a recent mattter being brought up..
But I had to think through as its regarding resposibilty and commitment that will be brought into my life if I decided to take it..
Well, just leave me more time to think so that decisions can be made wisely..

Ooo... and I'm so thankful to the RWS ppl for letting me start my internship one day later, which would be in 31st march..
It seriously helped me lessen my burden and all that clashes I've been facing.. and I thank god so much man..
I think I'm gonna like it there, I mean, despite the fact that the ppl there are always so friendly as they wouldnt fail to smile at me whenver I pass by..
and their working condition is kinda awesome too..
just hope everything's gonna be fine..
and speaking about attachments, I think I'm gonna miss my friends a lot..
I mean, I'm gonna be trapped in Sentosa and within the four walls.. which started me thinking and realising that the life of working adults are kinda boring..
So, I have to chill and have as much fun before I'm in there..

For now, it's kinda obvious that I stopped going for u alr..
It's true and I wanna confess that I liked you before, but I would not go any further..
Due to some reasons and observations made..
Yes, and I'm glad that we can be friends again..
Coz I kinda missed those friendly bonds, jokes and laughter we had before..
But as a good friend, I wanna tell you some stuffs..
And its nothing about the matter between us, but its about you and your current situation..
Talk to you soon.. =]
Take care..

sorry for the previous post..
it was just wack i know.. but i had to put it down sumwhere coz writing just tires me even more, although i used to do that.. in fact, i still keep the book that i used to write down on wadever stuffs i feel like even if it was 3 years ago..
thnks for the encouragement and support that y'all gave aite.. sometimes, that is sumthing that I lack of although I'm used to being self-encouraged, but its more heart warming when u know others have the belief in u to do ur best..

Neways, finally managed to secure my attachment..
But had to screw up the first day as it clashes with an external exam on the 30th march..
so, probly coming in as half day..
Wad a great way to start of the first day of attachment rite? hah..
And if I'm not wrong, there will also be dance training on that day itself..
So, all the best to me man..

For my parents, I think they are happy for me..
although they dont show it or don't even seem to care about any of my achievements..
i know deep down inside they cared..
But I'm not expecting anything from them..
Just so that I know that what I do is right and for my own good..
Although sometimes, I hope they will show me some love or care for thats the least i could have asked for.. guess i'll just have to be patient.. as i think that one day will come..
I know growing up for me, I'm kinda used for them not to show their love and to not to be dependent in them, basically thats how my self-motivation in life comes about..
i still remembered that day when hazrul touched on the family part when he was talking to the bboys..
it got me teary eyed.. as it got me thinkin about mine..
but wadever it is, i appreciate all the things they do.. and still love them no matter how hard the reality is..

The world is unfair.. that i know..
And no matter how much i dislike it..
I'm kinda glad that such facts existed coz it helps to teach ppl how to learn from their mistakes and not to be complacent.. and also the form of optimism..

Well done and good job if the plan was to break me..
I will just have to say all the best..
and I think my prediction was right when I told Harris about it the other time..
Moving on with life is a must now..

Beware.. self dissing in session

Its the end...

Mr Brown: Badd is such a pussy, seriously..
Badd: really, i think u are as shitty as the colour..

My self motivation just chose not to work today..
and everything just felt not in place and down the drain..
seriously, i think I'm such a loser..
a sore one that is..
cant even do things right..
in fact my life is just nuthing but filled with clashes..
this and that.. and everything..
wanna do a move but not daring enough..
cant help but to feel demoralized everytime..
tried to like someone but hadnt got the chance..
well, at least thats how i think it is..
sometimes, I'm just sick of giving in to ppl..
always think about others before self..
but at times i did tried thinking about myself first and found it a lil guilty..
such a pussy right? dumbass
sometimes, i dunno whether being smart is a good thing..
ppl might think ur too smart that ur a freak or sumthing.. or ppl think that ur smart but not smart enuff as the things that u say might ended up sounding dumb to sumone coz they are considered on the surface, but actually it requires some deep thinking..
Just when I thought I could make everyone feels happy..
there is still that hidden agenda, behind every questions asked, every smile, every 'it's ok', every 'nevermind', every 'nuthing'...

missing my old happy side..
when everything seems to be so carefree and matters are not put to heart..
it seems to be away on a looong holiday..
almost felt like giving up..
thinking that my ray of hope is fading away..
just fuck it luh..

wadever to me and this post aite..
bye

Hey...
So, ive been pretty lazy to update my blogg recently..
Caught up with a lot of stuffs.. dealing both physically and mentally..
I just had it and just sick and tired..
I'm just gonna let everything flows and not to bother about anything..
and for myself, I'm just gonna let wadever it is control me.. I dont wanna put my mind into anything alr..
Guess wadever will be, will be..

Helped to do the props for the first two days of making props..
I have to say that painting is kinda fun though..
and all that cutting and drilling... although i only drilled like one hole.. haha
and not to forget abt the discoball structure.. its so awesome.. lol
didnt really helped for the third day.. had to meet up with Nexo for Refresh 2 at East Coast..
Did nuthing much coz when I reached there, the event ended and joined them for dinner at Macs only.. LOL.. so much for being early, until I have to cab down with Raaz to EC..
After that, they went off to play L4D at a nearby LAN shop.. well, obviously i had to give it a pass coz I was so freakin tired due to those nights of not enuff sleep..
Sorry aite.. I've been busy with my dance training and stuffs.. I'll promise to make time for u peeps for the next outings man.. =]
So went home early for the first time like at 8 plus.. but still, I slept quite late..

I just dont know wads wrong with me luh.. I was tired but cant really sleep..
I think theres a lot of stuffs going on in my mind.. I just dont know which to handle first..
There are just question marks around me man..
All those unanswered questions in my mind..
Questions with defined answers and that cannot be guessed or get my way around..
Its just so effing annoying luh..
Ppl may think that I kinda sounded confused and a lil dumb at some time..
But they dunt know wad I'm thinking inside man.. Guess its all up to me..
I think, I rather not blab more in this boring pictureless post..

fyi, i like you..
I think you might not know..
But this feeling comes through clear and honest from my heart..
I know ive been busy but i tried to be by ur side at times..
If only i cud have the opportunity for me to accompany u back home every night although I live quite a distance from u..
so as to understand u better although i've known u for quite a duration..
i kinda missin u alr..

Ive got it..
Finally, days of sleepless nights for the past week are paid off..
All that extra assignment at the same time dealing with dance training and another factor..
True, it was and has been a gruelling test for me, but who knows I've got it..
Although, there's joy felt within me, but theres still sumthing's not right..
And of course, its good that it's one matter down and 3 more to go..
And I really thanked God for my prayers are answered.. and I really hoped for His support in the long-run and also the matters that I'm dealing concurrently..

Dance training has been okay I guess..
Need to push myself harder for bboy..
I know I'm nowhere near, but I'll just persevere.. and of course, work hard..
I think I'll get used to self-motivation.. hah..

Watched CS with Kat, RB, Liang, Malex and John last night..
Its scary. One word only. and the story line.. a lil far-fetched though..
I wont talk much about it coz i dont wanna picture the image..
Watch it if you wanna know wad I mean..

hmm.. sometimes, i just don't understand..
izzit I'm the one to blame.. or is it I'm just being too ignorant that I don't even bother to observe my surroundings a lil harder..
Sometimes, I don't even know whether to be optimistic or pessimistic.. its like, either or is based on luck.. and basically good or bad is not much of a difference anymore..
At times too, i don't like the fact that time and distance is considered obstacles in my life.. if only transportations work 24/7.. so that I can travel from one end of Spore to another with no worries at like 2 or 3am.. coz cabbies are such sore money suckers.. so not helping in times of recession..
another thing.. understanding people is kinda confusing too.. and I'm sorry if I've been such an idiot or a dumbass..

Just hope that I cud live in the East, or preferrably Tampines area..
I think I'm lousy..

The JAM..

RF JAM WAS DOPE!
LOL...
so, for now.. can all of those people who have bought their tickets and didnt go for it please run through a wall or sumthing.. goes the same for those who didnt even go for it..
coz that jam worth more than just 15bucks man! It comes with a 15% off all puma stores too.. haha! I mean, other than that, the competition and the action was great in there man.. SERIOUSLY.. all those bboys from around the world came down to Zouk and struttin that stuff that they do.. its just the awesome-est live battles i've seen so far.. or even my entire life..
And now, I would have probly thought that All Area Crew is everyone's favourite.. But then again, big props for all other teams who break their ass off for this competition and making this a super dope and awesome one..
Good job to Hazrul too yo and his teamos..!

hmm, so now, felt myself like some wack shit.. but then again, motivated to do the best for concert and also for learning new moves after that.. So, buuuuuuuccckkk up yo..

Finding costumes later with Nelson and Kat..

Till then..

5,6,7,8.. bam!

Training today has been mentally draining...
Physically, it's not that tiring coz i barely used my towel..
Basically, just needed to rmb the transitions and changes from one sets of each side to another..
And I think the battle scene has alr made better with the current one.. with most of the loop holes being filled, finally...
One thing for sure, I have yet to find the costume for that scene.. with yellow and lime green as the colour code.. darn.. perhaps this Sunday then..

Anyways, last night was my first time being at Jae's place.. with the studio and the jacuzzi... but didnt went down to the jacuzzi luh.. coz had to go home early, like 11.30pm?..
I gotta say that the place is so dope.. I mean I like their studio.. darn cozy..
And their outdoor chill place is kinda awesome too..
And I can see that Jae is a friendly dude man.. I mean, I can see from his face.. haha
oo, and get to meet Rahim after such a long time for not seeing him since months ago..
I can see that he's happier than before, i mean, thats good for him luh.. he also got to do the stuff he likes to do best.. =]

Moving on.. I'm happy for Kat as she managed to do her inverts for like 3 times today.. Good job yo! =]
And also theres also this one time whereby she did it and stayed longer than our air freezes.. haha.. looks like Nelson seriously owe her a meal for dinner..
ooo.. and I'm gonna get that song which gives us motivation to go up and do a freeze on the beat.. basically, that song just helps us to push ourselves in doing out the freeze that we are kind of hesitant to execute it..
Meichin also finally managed to do her air freeze without my hand neither my pinkie.. lol.. all coz of that song..
So i think with that song, Kat will be expected to do more than just 3 inverts for the following days? haha..

After the training, went down to esplanade underpass with Kat, Hazrul, Jonas and Kevin before meeting up with RB, Harris, Joel and Liang at Marina Square..
Saw lots of dope bboys down there.. like those from around the world.. in fact, before we went down to the underpass, we caught up with these group of Vietnamese breakers who was kinda lost their way to the underpass.. so we brought them there..and they are dope luh, i mean, after watching them freestyling within a cypher.. but their accent was kinda funny though when they started to speak English.. but warn u, they are not to be dissed yo..
well, saw Gonza and even a guy who is known as Taisuke's cousin down there too..
darn, imagine being just side by side to those dope ppl that u watched them doing their thang in youtube..
Its just so freakin awesome man.. U can just feel their vibe or even their dopeness aura.. LOL..
oh yea, and saw this 13 year old kid who can do all that airflares and all with different hand variations..!! but he took 3 years learning that, meaning he started learning it at the age of 10.. which just left me thinking back on why must I be so nerdy during Primary 4.. and not being introduced on such stuff at such a young age.. haha!

So, it is obviously seen as a motivation for me to perform at my best for concert and also in training for other moves that I wanna learn.. oooh, and I'm gonna be watching the RF Jam tmr too.. so, c ya guys who's gonna be there aite.. ;]

oo.. and anyways.. TPDE is gonna have its production on 3rd and 4th April 2009.. It's called Fairy Our Tale: Cinderella.. basically, a unique remix of that fairytale.. so, interested parties please text me or nudge me in MSN (if I'm online that is) so that I can help you make a reservation and get your tickets for this production aite.. tickets are at 15 dollars.. So, hurry and get your tickets now as it's selling out fast alr.. =]

It's great to see that smile on your face..
tiba-tiba, aku rasa keselematanmu sudah menjadi tanggungjawabku..

Ache

The aches on my body has finally started to take effect.. woohoo!
actually, it has been long existed with blueblacks.. but used to it alr..
And cant complain coz the rest are having aches too...
mine started off with the tensity on the neck when I woke up this morning..
So now, I cant really turn my head to the right as it will be so awesomely acheing.. haha..

Neways, yesterday's modern training was fun..
Learn a nerd dance.. haha..
Its quite interesting.. disgustingly interesting perhaps.. lol..
I like the choreography though.. and Ryan is just simply dope..


And anyways... me and kaiwen have the chance to lift Meiqi!
Actually, she's not that heavy luh.. She think too much only..
People always think that chubby people weigh more coz they look bulky..
but actually its not.. I mean, in proper science term, muscles weigh heavier than fats..
So, meiqi.. ur not heavy ok..
Must trust in us.. like hello, Indie ppl here carrying u.. we got ur back yo!.. =]


Okay, so since everyone is like suffering from bodyaches everywhere..
Take care aite ppl.. just dont end up in hospital can alr.. (touch wood)
and to you,
seriously, take care of urself..
know your body limits aite..
just concerned..

...

Had interview at RWS just now after my dance training...
And it is so darn troublesome for me to like wear formal with all that big bag and those excessive stuffs hanging around me while making my way to Sentosa for that interview.. in addition to that is the heat of the Sun, it just makes me feel more annoyed while making my way through the journey.. Its a good thing I'm quite optimistic..
So, the interview was fine.. but still had to do one more assignment in order for them to evaluate me further..
One thing for sure, I like the staff over there, they are all so friendly and welcoming..
And its a good thing they didnt asked me anything about their resort, coz I kinda like prepared last minute for it.. and also thnks to Serene for telling me some useful facts that I should know about RWS, although they didnt really touch on that.. lol..
So, for now, I really have to get my creativity cap back on my head while going thru the concert trainings..

Anyways, I cut my hair short.
And now... I'm missing my 'long' hair..
So sad luh.. cannot do the spastic move anymore..
And also with this short hair, I felt as though my confidence level droped coz i dont even dare to take off my cap alr..
And looking back, i realized the only reason why i cut my hair short is just because of this interview.. -.- OMG luh... i know i will just style it so as to make it looked shorter..
but then again, styling it will take like another hour of my life.. haha
aiya, wadever to the hair man.. wad is done, is done.. now I'm waiting (patiently) for it to grow at the desired length again..

neways, dance training.. has been quite a roller coaster..
My plan of versatility is going through quite okay i guess.. but theres still other factors affecting me throughout this journey..
Well, if u ask me, I dont really know coz understanding human minds can be quite confusing recently.. Sometimes people just say that they do it for eternity, but who knows their eternity lasted for only that long.. and guess wad, the next thing u know it has been replaced or they found sumthing/sumone better and thus the meaning of eternity has been misused by these people.. Sometimes, empty promises are made so easily but those of the real value finds it hard to come by..
Wadever it is, I'll just stick to my aim.. and not to let such stuff affect me.. coz in either way, this so called immature matter will affect the relationship we have between people that we are close with and that we care for and also the self-esteem of oneself... That is why giving in is such a preferable method to solve most problems.. of course not all the time, but just have to know and weigh which situation carries more responsibilty, so as to fight and stand for our right... well, go figure if u dont get wad I say..
ps: this is just a reflection, dont disregard this as myself being emo..

oh yea, and speaking of emo...
I liked the songs that was used for concert..
especially those that are moving ones.. like Unbeautiful by Lesley Roy..
darn, this song just reminded myself during the past..
i dunno whether to call them sweet memories or unforgettable past.. but still, it made me reminisce about 'those' times.. I wont say it here luh.. guess wads past is past then.. but for those who wanna know, I'll juz tell u aite.. well, its just too bad that we didnt get to dance to this song.. but then, its okay.. watching my fellow modern dance mates dancing to it is just so heart-warming despite the coldness of the dance studio..

Neways, I'm at the NLB while writing up this post..
Actually, I wanna do the assignment, but then, got my mind too caught up with this post..
I think I better head home soon..
and before, i forget..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YANNI aka. SHORTIE!!

till then..

choo choo.. goes the concert train..

Let me first start of this post with the Nexo chalet..
It was kool man, had a great time and all..
oh yea, there were like 4 chalets going on at the same time within the the proximity.. which include Zetten's, Chelsea's birthday chalet and Reliez's...
But I think Nexo one was more happening.. LOL.. dont mean to be biased but yea, its true..
I mean, we totally rocked the Wii and of course the companion and the people there are all so awesomely kool and stuffs..
okay, so for the first day, i joined them at night after celebrating Raazmy's belated birthday at Iris' condo residential space, which is after the start of our first concert training..
Had my first journey to OCH (Old Changi Hospital)..
Well, to me its a lil freaky... but I'm more concerned to those who can see 'them'..
I mean, I'm sure those who are able to see/sense them are like freakin out inside, but they still have to maintain their composure so that the rest whose there will not freak out as well..
oo.. and I'm a lil pissed off with some of them who just couldnt keep their mouth shut while inside that place..
Well, I kinda heard stuffs too, but keep on telling myself its from the nearby chalets..
then, we ended up sharing our ghostly experiences and all, till I fall asleep.. haha
So, on the second day.. joined them again after the dance training
had my first time playing Wii as well..
well, i dont really know wad the game is called but it was fun..
Its like, a new found indoor sport where u can just shake the consoles like some retarded shit.. lol
and it was so so so awesome man.. props to the creator of Wii.. haha!
We had this drinking game too.. its like a must have in chalet..
but not to worry, coz the one I played is non-alcoholic one.. so, kinda safe..
and it was darn funny! all those rules that were made up thnks to Shah, Zhiyong, and more.. and Jon keeps on being the one who have to double-drink and those ppl who keep on breaking the rules.. lol.. I mean, i also have luh, but not to the extreme.. and Ella is so bimbotic.. haha.. forfeited herself twice for the 'Have you ever' part, Matthew as well..
oh yea, and not to forget about the BBQ as well.. awesome too..

So, the concert training has come to be part of our lives once again..
well, for some, it will be their first that is..
And obviously, every day of its training is just gonna be as draining/tiring/energy-sucking as ever.. And of course, limited time to be spent with oneself, family and relatives..
but its a good thing there's the sundays for us to chill and yeah, chill.. haha and update ourselves..
hmm... okay i think the first few sentences of this para sounded way off, almost to a dozing off kinda situation..
but wad can i do.. every day is the same routine over, over and OVER again.. darn..

okay, lets make this thing more interesting..
so, concert, I'm planning not to stick within my comfort zone..
Therefore, I'm going to test on my versatility...
And thus, I'm doing..
Street Jazz and Breaking for part of the concert..
haha.. no laughing matter okay, this is serious shit..
and of course, during this whole period of training, I felt a lil shitty doing these styles..
Seeing all those people that are experienced in this styles and doing them well are sometimes a bit demoralising to me coz I'm kinda new to them..
Like breaking for example, although, it has been a recent interest for me, seeing them being able to just come out and do their stuff, just comes back to me asking myself what the hell am I thinking man.. I mean, I'm just worried that I would not be able to portray the genre/styles that it was supposed to be portrayed..
I know that I'm not showing these words on my face each and every time there's the rehearsal for these genres/styles, but I have to do it, coz thats what I'm aiming for man.. the versatility of a dancer..and also coz it has been my recent interest..
Well, whatever it is, I'm just gonna tell myself that I can do it, totally..
Although the process is gonna be a hard one, but heck.. this is the path I chose and I want to ace it..
Just like in academics.. The concert is the exams for this case..
So, no matter wad, I had to prove it on stage..
And of course there are the sources of motivation.. like the bboys..
One thing for sure, although i felt demoralized when I see the experienced ppl doing it, they are seen as motivators to me..
it's not that distinctive, but kinda a good way to self-motivate myself..
and of course, there are others too..
So, you know it..

and especially..
you.