I never wished to say this
but i just don't understand
i just feel that today is the worst day
needed to share it to someone
but figured i will be such an irritant
bottling up is just the best of choices
i just hate myself for having too much emotions
i just hate myself for having too much thoughts
i just hate myself for having too much things kept away from ppl around me
even the closest cant understand me
no wonder some ppl result to suicide
I just so blessed to have the patience

I dont understand
i just dont feel as if im not appreciated of wad ive done
i tried making ppl happy, to understand their needs
and do everything that i could risk myself doing
but i think everything just dont seems to be enough
or is it im just a loser that cant understand other ppl
i tried to, but i dont know whether i did it successfully
but at least try to understand me
do you even know wad my needs are?
even if u know, i doubt u will make effort to do it
you are not even there when i needed someone
i think you dont even know that im feeling this way
I guess i dont mean anything to others
just a small explanation,
or evena sorry would work for me
guess im to be blamed for not trying to understand
coz blaming myself is the only way for me to work things out
and i dont want to put wad we have into jeopardy
i dont know if you will read this
but this is how i feel
and to anyone who reads this, the 'you' i used is just based on general terms

sometimes i feel thankful for those who taught me the art of being superficial
so that others wont know wad i truely feel inside
just when i found someone to tell wad i felt inside
i was considered irritating
so, wadever thats left inside of me,
rest in peace

i miss gin
all the dance practices, and all her words
im always looking forward for her class
although i didnt go for them
but watching them on youtube just brings a smile on my face
it just makes me feel joyful whenever i felt sad or lost
just by watching i felt the guidance in her
ever since she left for LA, the sense of guidance have lost within me
theres nothing to look forward to every week

gosh, everything just made me teared for no reason
hate this lost feeling
somehow these tears just rolled without my intentions
i cant even stop it
i feel so stupid for tearing down now
i just feel so fucked up



bye world