sweet nothings..

SO.. today.. is juz another routinely stuffs for my sundays.. don't really feel like talking bout it coz theres nothing special ooccured today..
reggae recital is still the same coz gin is not feeling well wif her back and cant continue at the time being.. so we juz make clearer our current steps..

WELL, in general... I'm feeling a lot more emotional this month.. like not only that sad emo but same goes for anger, irritated, confused and all.. After like a major isolation of my emotions for a long time, it had made me to feel more of a certain feeling.. rather than juz partly..
I dunno.. its like usually when i feel sad.. its juz like 30% of it.. but now it will juz coz tears to well up my eyes.. then when comes to angry.. i feel like bashing up sumthing...
I juz hate the feeling now.. damn it.. maybe its juz me.. i hope my patience will build up soon.. before i really let it out to sumone like the last time 3 years back..

Just now, an old fren of mine.. asked me whether im having a relationship now..
before i answered him, it made me think for awhile.. it actually haf been a long time since i haf felt that emotion and being in that situation.. the feeling of loving sumone till u wanna be close to that person... it has been isolated for soooo long.. and now that i realize it.. it juz felt weird.. so i answered no to him..
The feeling of being in love is as if haf been looong forgotten by me..
its like i dunno how to even show ppl that i cared/concerned or simply love that certain sumone.. i forgot how to fall in love even..
i dunno.. but sumhow or rather.. my past experience kinda affected me too..
i think its rather personal to even talk about it here..

hmm.. its like now, the only thing i cared about is juz to make frenz.. till i forget there is such thing as having sumone as my girlfrend.. well.. i dunno if this began to sound a lil childish, but this is wad i realized that has been loong missing from my heart.. well, i hope she will appear to me one day and, who knows, open up my heart which has loong been closed for such a relationship.. =]

till then.. good nite=]