Well, I'm not feeling as usual..
I dunno.. juz irritated and felt so sucky...
I juz dunno luh..
Freakin irritating..
One thing for sure, I always felt like this after choreographing krump routines..
damn it..
Its juz so angry and making me feel like one of those emoshits..
argh..
Some people are juz so fake..
They're like having these 2 sides to them..
One day they can be good frens with u.. the other day, they can juz act as if they dont know u..
And now, I dont even know who's real and who's not..
argh..
if u are fake hit the table once, if you're not hit the table twice..
Either ways i dont even know coz its up to the individual..
damn it..
i make it sound so dumb..
fuck..
great.. i juz said it..
now it sounded real immature..
Sometimes, I dont know why is it so hard for me to trust people..
maybe its juz the fear I had..
or..
it must be something from the past that lingers whenever i came about with this particular word..
people keep on saying the past is then..
look forward for tmr or the beginning of the new leaf..
but for me, i guessed it stills the same..
there is sure someone or sumthing who will juz make it worst..
day by day..
it might be a joke.. but the humane part starts to fit in when people takes stuffs emotionally..
they cant be freakin treat everything not to heart at times rite..
Or maybe the lives of them are too perfect so as they can boast around telling ppl that while pushing others down..
seriously.. FUCK!
darn i said it again..
sheeeessh..
Well, generally, the loneliness of a little boy seeps into me..
He was overwhelmed with happiness to come by with a swing that he can play with..
but as he swinged by the hour...
he realized theres no one playing except for him..
its juz between the cold hard steel of the swing's handle and his bare self..
swinging to and fro..
still..
waiting for other kids to play the swing by his side..
As the shadow of the day began to surpass the sun, he knows he have to get home before his mom yells at him..
yells as his mom tot he had spent his day playing with his 'frens'..
but only he himself knows how lonely he had been for the day..
he kept this secret for as long as he can hold..
till the day that he met someone that he trusts and who are able to accept him as a loyal fren..
that the secret is shared..
but still... no sign of such..
he went around.. but seemed as though he's not being accepted by anyone..
maybe he's weird.. maybe's he's ugly.. maybe he's not perfect enough..
another day came by.. and there he go swinging on the swing again..
juz hoping other kids will play along with him..
but he knows and realizes the same thing as before..
the sadness and sorrow will only be bottled up in his heart..
wish he cud cry, but wad can u expect out of a small boy..
but its more painful to know that he's tearing up inside..
day by day..
